April 14, 2008

life post hell




a couple of things new... i got back 2 of my test scores from last week. a 55 and a 76. i almost snapped in half. but i had a good weekend. rested at home, watched alot of tv (online), you know. 
went to a super fun party at my friend jannahs (shes a friend i had classes with a couple years ago) its a wine party called the young and sexy partay. and me and my roomate go and get all dressed up. heres some pictures.. my boobs were driving me crazy and yes, im returning that dress. The guy blinking is aubreys boyfriend. the other two guys are some friends of aubreys that i inherited when we became roomates. its cool. and by super fun i gave it a 7 out of 10 on the fun scale. i hate dancing. Aubrey is by far the best friend though.
 
thats me and jannah. she even made her dress it was super sweet. oh and... i hate picture of me from that angle. alot.
thats my friend luke hes my non dance partner, and we always manage to have fun even when

 forced onto the dance floor.


But the real good news is i had a great time hanging out with the Lord on saturday. we got alot of built up ish dealt with. I keep getting into this need to prove im good enough. then go independent then ruin things and because ive ruined them i need to fix them which only makes things worse then i get self loathing and disappointed in myself. oh its this horrible positive feedback loop that just makes me sick. basically i just needed to hear from the lord that he wants to restore me. he is such a god of restoration. he loves me even when im a waste of a life and a major disappointment and failure. and thats exactly what he said to me. hopefully my papers and test this week wont be as bad. 

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